All about deyians!

2005-03-31T17:05:00.000-08:00

final day.crapped alot with tess,wanda,monica and yansong.they kept asking why im called bird so i told them it's my christian name.and yansong started all the obscenities.
didnt plan to tell anyone it's my last day but think ms yau told some 2/6 girls.plus mr ong went to tell 2/2.
ok,conclusion of these months.i conclude that my way doesnt work.it's kinda impossible to be friends with students and still expect them to treat you as a teacher.they are bound to climb over you.so far,my way only worked in 1/5.yeap,teacher-student relationship is still important in class.there must be a gap.that's why i felt that i failed to be a teacher.
if i ever step into another class again,i'll be stern and firm.
will miss all the friends i made in deyi.isabella and calvin came too late man.can really click.plus ms yau,ms tan,the two mr yeo-s,ms chua,jermiline,hiliary,rashidah etc.not to forget the students.ok,do not accuse me of being bias.in fact,all teachers are bias,it just depends on the extent.think i'll miss 1/5 and 2/6 the most.then certain students of 1/2 and 2/2.
however,i firmly believe that time and distance will diminish everything,memories dont last.haha.yeap,i'll get on with life.
take care all deyians and all the best for your future endeavours.this blog will be permanently on hiatus.the tagboard may be alive if you guys tag.
bye!

2005-03-30T14:56:00.000-08:00

isabella's so sweet...

2005-03-29T16:05:00.000-08:00

there's nothing more to say,nothing to hold anything back.the decision is there,the arrangement is also there.i'll do up a final conclusion on thursday.
it's quite sad that i keep missing lessons with 2/6.the school should spare a thought for teachers.it's hard to keep up with lesson plans if they keep eating up our periods.
nonetheless,nothing is important anymore.
"the definition of change is doing something you dont like and the definition of insanity is doing the same things everyday and expect a change."
so im going for a change now.in fact,i changed and going to change again.

2005-03-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

4/2 is a really sweet and nice class.is it just that i dont teach them?
i've made the decision.

2005-03-26T19:05:00.000-08:00

1/2 is just a replicate of 2/2.

2005-03-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

im really not fated with 2/9.went in twice and it always ended up as mr ong wrote wrongly.but quite fortunate today,was supposed to have like 6 relief classes and all thanks to 2/9 all cancelled.
thurs again,long day.long weekend too,that means happy hour tomorrow night!(:

2005-03-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

went 1/4 for relief today.all cos of my blur-ness,they got "disciplined".the girls were quite cute and one of them actually saw me in desaru,where i got my sunburnt.
sigh.

2005-03-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

i've some news to break.mr ong called to say he made a mistake.the new teacher is replacing another teacher.so im supposed to continue teaching...

2005-03-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

just a short note.to students who message me for the first time,please tell me your name and please dont play guessing games with me.cos i have 140+ students excluding those classes that i went for relieving.so my sms will really burst if i guess each and everyone of you.haha,unless you wanna pay for my bill,please spare me!im not working now so no money k!lastly,take care peepz,will really miss you guys alot.(:

2005-03-11T23:07:00.000-08:00

my last day today,just got to know it in the morning.stayed till so late to mark all the tests,late assignments.and what,mr ong told me everything last minute.things like computation of ca marks,and collecting workbooks for checking.
1/2 was like asking for my numbers.they did so well for this test and i've no chance to praise them.1/5 too.they made me feel like a super star again,taking photos and signatures.jiaen made this "card" for me last minute.haha,that girl,always tuck out shirt.and james.xin tian,francis,dionne,seow hung,shi pei,etc alot alot.
only found out the sad stories behind 1/2 today.way too late.if it's earlier,i could do something.i blame myself for not being observant and caring enough.sarah did so well for test.arrrgh.
anyway,not a bad idea for me to leave,before everyone starts to hate me.(:
and it's time to think what i wanna do.i'd more or less settled for psychology.must really study hard,played too hard for the past 18 years.
have an eventful holidays.this will be the last entry,unless i start to teach in another school.

2005-03-10T18:29:00.000-08:00

got a little pissed today in the canteen.i was waiting the entire time in the staff room.right after i was told that you left the class,i went to the canteen to look for you.i didnt eat cos i wasnt feeling hungry.is that counted as breaking promise?and i've the right to talk to other students.please give me some space.if you still insisted of saying im bias,i've nothing to say anymore.im going to stop defending myself.cos it's useless since that feeling is already deeply rooted in you.just wanna say,point your fingers at yourself before pointing it at others.
if there is no mutual respect,it's not possible for me to be nice.you guys just have to understand it.respect doesnt mean only being friends with me,it means listening.that means handing up work on time if i tell you to.finish your work if i say you have to.dont do other things during my lesson.stop challenging me.i dont wanna to push you guys to this limit but the authrity is on my hands,dont ever try to challenge it. somehow i feel that,only jinrong respects me in 206,though he talks too much sometimes.
to some,dont foolishly think that using vulgarities is "man" or "cool".dont be such an idiot.using vulgarities will only reflect you negatively.using it not only means you arent respecting the person you're talking to,it even means you're disrespecting yourselves.others will just degrade you when they hear it,they wont think you're some hero.wake up!
after venting,i shall cool down.went out with the hcl people plus liyan and nurul.i guess that's the only peaceful thing that happened today.MORE new teachers are coming so there's a rearrangement of desks and stuff.there's a possibility that i've to clear the cupboard.it's alot of books.sigh.
have a fun day at sentosa tomorrow people.

2005-03-09T16:11:00.000-08:00

it's so disgusting when my dry permission pass came back damp.
today's a spastic day.i'd to send sec 3s to the field and had to rush to the hall with 2/2 today.
jiawei and tuofeng so cute.rachel even cuter,the entire time she was trying to out-talk jiawei.
flamingo's having fever.take care and get well soon,girl.
looking forward to the end of week.holidays.i really need to settle down and think properly what im going to do in uni.is pragmatism going to rule over dream?yet again,if everyone's so pragmatic,who's going to help the less fortunate?argh.headache.i actually suffered from insomnia last night.it's rare cos sleeping's one of my favourite hobbies.

2005-03-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

looking forward to 1st april.mr yong coming back!but not sure if he'll extend his mc yet again.
204 is cute.
haha,sometimes i wonder what a teacher does.i was like a mum,helping james unbuttoning his shirt.so sorry to 105.wanted to bring them to the canteen,just as they were queueing up outside the classroom,the bell rang.
206,-shakes head-
why can't everything remains?

2005-03-03T15:53:00.000-08:00

still not used to giving off permission passes.
dont understand why jas ang keeps saying my hand is cool.i thought many wear it?

2005-03-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

there seems to be nothing to blog about nowadays.maybe this blog will shut down soon.cos everything's became so monotonous.and im so sick of everything.
productive day today,finished marking 3 piles of books,all imcomplete.
i've became more serious cos if i continue playing,you guys will learn nothing.

2005-02-28T16:18:00.000-08:00

monday blues.
sat without saying a word in 3/9 and they dont even bother.i cant be bothered too.
nice chatting with the 2/6 girls in the company of ms yau.liyan finally conquered her fear of looking into my eyes.
5/1's a really nice class,really.(:
finally talked abit to the new teachers.im not sociable at all.

2005-02-25T17:13:00.000-08:00

so many cuties in 1/5 asked for my signature,was busy signing on their tables.haha,feel like a superstar!then was figuring out what's the "power" of my water bottle.i've a feeling they cheated me,made me feel like a fool looking underneath my water bottle in class.ohhh!and ka shun ACTUALLY handed in his workbook!i was soooo happy!haha.
1/2 was begging for marks.shiying's so honest lah.you know i tried so hard to let her pass yet she kept finding mistakes here and me for me to minus marks.so cute.
watched a little bit of lunchtime concert today.got bored and walked out with rachel,was stuck talking to the uncle selling ice cream.uncle's so sociable!ohh,then spent the afternoon playing badminton with liyan,wai eng and cheuk ni.liyan's so pro!asked her and she told me she only started playing badminton last year.totally talented.her legs are so light and swift!cheuk ni looked so fierce and stern though.haha.scary.
yes,it's friday!and we were given pear today.corny.
have a joyous friday peepz!(:

2005-02-24T19:04:00.000-08:00

was sleeping in the train this morning.opened my eyes and saw a big flamingo standing in front of me.
wanda's so cute.haha.plus lame.bought them hersheys' kisses.before wanda eats her kisses,she literally kissed it.oh,and i was as lame as i get what she was doing.
shiying's so honest and obedient.really like her alot.tried to help 1/2 kids with their lock.funny.
check out friday weekly peepz!hahaha...egoistic me.(:

2005-02-23T15:40:00.000-08:00

crying trend today.what did i do?i cant stand tears.as in i'll get panick and stuff.
had lunch with 1/5 girls.eh,im not biased k,it was coincidential.2/6 actually went to tell ms yau im biased.bleah.
unhappy happening in 2/2.shant mention.not as if i care,really.

2005-02-22T19:38:00.000-08:00

had a great time with 1/5!qi xin's voice is so soothing.distinctive contrast against james' tuo diao!haha.she was singing dang ni.i realised james has evocative expressions and he's so fond of presenting himself,talented little boy despite his hyper activeness.
1/2 quite fun also,with brendan trying to offer his art piece as a gift to me.guess he didnt expect me to really accept it.cute.
sad to say,the day ended with public caning.hmmm,vulgarity towards teacher?does that mean that if i report that 4/6 boy,he will get caned too?
unbearable headache.

2005-02-21T16:51:00.000-08:00

big head has big swollen eyes now.haha.what's going on man,like after jasmine's face,her eyes got swollen.
first day without ms yau and ms tan,zilch entertainment.new teachers just talk among themselves.): i was like some anti social and reclusive freak isolated at a corner.but it's good,managed to mark two piles of ting xie.
went 3/4 to relief.whenever i step into a class to relief,there's bound to be someone who'll ask me about my age and background.
i think xinyi shows certain resemblance of jolin tsai.
anyway,hope rachel and jasmine get well soon.

2005-02-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

just as i was complaining about my short term memory in one of my previous entries,I ACTUALLY FORGOT TO ATTEND NTU TALK TODAY!!!was training for the entire day man.arggggh.that's why i kept thinking i've something to do today.sigh.a professional told me that the better you are in tabletennis,the worse is your memory and your IQ cos too many brain cells are killed.to counter that,you've to swim.i dont know what shit is that but it seems to happen on me.
suffering from cramps cos i was late for one hour so didnt have time to warm up.all my dad's fault.
happy today.(:
"Every santient being have a certain standard to uphold to,and if he compromises it with intimidation,he is abrogating his right to be called intelligent."

2005-02-18T15:06:00.000-08:00

for the past two days,i'd been sleeping at 7pm.yet,i still feel the fatigue in me.
anyway,flamingo was called "girl girl" in 1/2 by jiawei when we tried to borrow pe t-shirt for big head.hell funny.haha.by the way,big head treats me like a walking provision shop.msged me early in the morning to ask if i've extra pe t-shirt.then msged again to ask if i've batteries.AND asked for scotch tape in class.talking about scotch tape,big head actually taped her mouth to prevent herself from talking.i just couldn't contain my laughter.yes,i was highly amused.
poor jasmine,her face's condition seems dire.take care girl!:)
it's fri!rest.all the best to those involving in chingay!oh yeah,is one of the band instructors some gayish disgusting guy with long hair?

2005-02-16T17:43:00.000-08:00

had my lunch at 5.cant be bothered to have dinner anymore.ended up not going out cos we couldn't came to a final negotiation.
soon shan moved her seat.hope new teachers are friendly and socialble.i've no idea why am iso tired recently.slept for half an hour in the staff room.literally fell into deep sleep.
went to 1/5's blog and saw they were supposed to do a poster or somthing about "to me,total defence is...".haha,i was thinking "to me,total defence is bullshit."seriously,if you see what guys do in ns.all cos of all the pampering.i wonder why singapore's authorities are just so afraid of trouble.singapore's future seems so bleak.
everthing's changed.

2005-02-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

made rebecca cry today.not on purpose.please people,dont cross the boundary.there's a limit to everything.
wanted to skip assembly today but met joy halfway and she told me relief teachers need to go too.ended up had to rush to bukit view.had lunch at 4pm man.
shall sleep.

2005-02-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

my left knee hurts.it's swollen.think the bang aggravated my permanent knee injury.thanks to peishan.haha.
the few came to my house,bai nian.messed up my house.literally.im the only person who can tolerate man.i bet ms yau will -you-know-what-.haaha.
anyway,i'll be so lonely tomorrow and for the rest of the other days cos ms yau and soon shan shifting seats.no more gossips.5 new teachers coming next week though.
rush hour tomorrow once again.i must leave some time for popo and gang man.all my time seems to be devoted to students and nytt.i need a break seriously.targetted sleeping time tonight:9pm.argh,but it's so impossible,so much work.
wonder why do i work so hard.spent 2 days working on powerpoint for 2/2 and only a handful of them actually bothered to look and copy from it.so disheartened you know.hope the rest of the classes are not like that.
nice msg from starfish,which is so true:"happy valentine's day!world's bleak,but love and humanity will prevail.So start finding those you care for and tell them how much they mean to you."
does love prevail?the show im currently indulged with proves that everyone loves themselves the most.happy valentine's day.

2005-02-13T01:09:00.000-08:00

you know i can puke blood marking test papers.-heart attack- dont know whether to laugh or cry.
just wanna say,dont give up on yourselves cos i havent given up on you.

2005-02-11T18:36:00.000-08:00

slept for two hours,tired.slept at 3 and woke up at 5 this morning.think i'm having eyebags.wore specs to school.and one girl in 1/2 said i look ugly with specs.so frank.so many people skipped school today!i wanted to skip so much too.argh.
finished marking 1/2's test.-shakes head- ONLY 8 passes and one person actually got 5/100.and that person has the same birthdate as me.like after 19 years,i'd finally found one person who shares the same birthdate as me.
sigh,is it really my problem that they do so badly?tried to use powerpoint in their class,shitty failure.why is every comp not working for sec 1 classes?
last day for nie teachers.there's another batch coming in next week.sad,no more entertainment from jeffery,no more sighing from nicholas.

2005-02-10T01:21:00.000-08:00

i'd wanted to blog this on monday but was rushing off to msia.just came back!
my first presents were actually from qianyi and wanda which was a shock rather than a surprise cos i'd always thought they hated me.haiyah,they're just so unpredictable.
later in the afternoon,big head smsed and said she needed to talk to me and scared me off cos i thought she was suffering from depression and stuff.after school,jasmine,louisa,michelle and flamingo came to look for me and made big head's case sounded worse.while i was walking up,flamingo just made it sound really bad lah.my heart was like thumping all the way till i reached 2/6's doorstep when big head held a cake and the peepz started singing happy birthday song.-_-
was thrown flour and dabai became even more bai,xiaobai seems clean though.had flour battle lah.before i could do anything to shuwen she was already sitting on the floor.-shakes head- flamingo too.lousy.stupid me went to wash with WATER.it became so sticky and oh-my-god disgustingly gross.-pleurgh- spent one hour bathing.this got to be the worse man.i got dumped into the sea and got splashed with water bombs and cream before.nothing as worse as this.haha.angeline bought pe shirt and short for me.so nice rite...got nice presents too,a nice bllllllluuuuueeee attitude shirt!now my wallpaper,screensaver,display pic and shirt are allllll soooo bllluuuue attitudddddddddeeee!whhooopee!and a nice bluuuuueee hp accessory with "bird" on it!!!!!!!!and it's happily dangling on my hp now!haha.
thank you 2/6,im really touched.yes,seriously.and jasmine,haha...if i love your class the most,i'll be pian xin!so i'll love everyone equally in school but you guys are more than students to me lah.(: love ya!-hugs-

2005-02-06T17:03:00.000-08:00

hmm,few unknow peepz added me on msn.students?anyway,you can say im petty or what or simple seeing a mountain out of a mole,but im kinda particular about my particulars.like if you want my number or email or msn or whatever,come and get it from me,dont get it through a third person unless you know me really well and know i dont mind you having it.im sorry if this sounds offensive.ok,maybe i'm too serious.(:
happy new year in advance,may not be able to use net for the next few days!may your year be filled with joy,hopes,love,happiness and blessings!(:
"People with goals succeed cos they know where they are going."=)

2005-02-05T20:44:00.000-08:00

i can kill myself for being so forgetful.the number of outings i forget is uncountable.last month itself i missed ntu,nus,nyp talks and zouk party.and today,i forgot all about SO3B outing.argh.i better not forget about 20th feb.arrrrgh.
all rite,i shall not buy or do anything to 1/2 anymore,just in case im deemed bias.i shall be impartial.
craving for mudshake vodka.w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r.

2005-02-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

you are darkslateblue
#483D8B

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.

Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

one month

2005-02-03T17:55:00.000-08:00

one full month in deyi.1/2's so cute when they were doing their test especially weimin.
other than that,there's no more pull factor.15 more days.
indifference rules.

02/02/05

2005-02-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

boring day,literally slacked and slept off the day.was just walking around staff room,then went staff lounge to read papers.after that slept on my desk.one plus went home and slept again.headache lor.
jasmine ang not here today,abit sian.no entertainment.was supposed to relief 2/1 but ended up they messed up the timetable.was actually looking forward to enter 2/1 cos havent been there before.haha.
so sad that the sec 3s are back.haha.more lessons,less time to slack.
why do i feel so tired recently?
"aim for the moon cos if you fall,you'll land among the stars."

01/02/05

2005-02-01T18:15:00.000-08:00

new month,new day,new life.i hate the changes cos it's against my will.i wanna live what i preach.why cant i do it?why must i be forced to go against my way?
anyway,started off the day by meeting xiaohei again.rachel rocks,she doesnt even know who she was talking to on the phone.yeap,then witnessed a "live marathon".-evil grin-
2/6 was exceptionally quiet and cooperative for awhile.why does it only happen when i had to resort to way against my wishes?
went for assembly talk.expected myself to fall asleep.however,the speaker was great,very captivating and informative!the point is he came at the right time.was suffering from depression when he reminded me that i havent even seen the other side of life and why am i here living in self sympathy and thought i'd seen everything?yeap,there's always another perspective to life.i'm encouraged and at the same time enlightened.bird wont give up.bird still wants to pursue her dreams.(:
just figured out that i dont have to go school on new year's eve!!haha.one more day of holiday.ended my day by walking home with rachel and enxie!ohhh!i gave enxie a new nick!flamingo!!!hehe.i must think of a nick for jasmine ang too.keeps calling me duck.boohoo.
"obstacles are the frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." i'll persevere but 18th feb's a special date.

ridicule

2005-02-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

ever heard of student getting detention cos he ate in the toilet during recess time?i find it ridiculous yet amusing.haha.

gradtitude to flamingo!

2005-02-01T06:28:00.000-08:00

almost forgot,stm.great gradtitude to tan hwee en aka flamingo for doing up this blog!!!change monthly ok!haha,waiting for your bllluuuueeeeee attitude!(:

31/01/05

2005-01-30T23:38:00.000-08:00

last day of the month.MOE owes me money!went to check my bank account and they still havent banked in the money.anyway,started the day by meeting erica and she helped me carry my books.thanks xiaohei!(:
no lesson with 3/9.went to relief 4/2 again.realised they are a real vibrant group.some guys were doing breakdancing,very impressive!ohh,and there was this super charming malay guy.like those who only appears in comics.big eyes,sharp nose and cute smile!almost melted man.haha.-sneaky-
sent three students for detention.listening to discman during my lesson.oh,i didnt know it's against the school rule to bring discman to school!that means,rachel,wenlin,xiaohei are all eligible for detention isnt it?haha,but as i said,if you're not too much,then i will close one eye.anyway,i think im too soft-hearted.if ms yau and mr goh werent there today,i think i'd have returned the discman.sigh.
whatever the case,THAT split second is the sweetest moment. (;

sunday...

2005-01-30T04:24:00.000-08:00

reached home kinda late today but no one's at home anyway.went training then woodlands library to teach feifei apgp.haha,attitude problem gives problems.of course not,apgp stands for arithmetic progression and geometric progression.dont think i was of much help cos only taught her like 2 sums.abit rusty.saw her phone and got reminded of my lost phone.-sad- if i didnt lose my phone,i could've taken down the nice sunset we saw on the mrt platform.somehow,i prefer sunset to sunrise.anyhow,it was still a pleasure to meet feifei once again!oh yeah,by the way,anyone knows what "emmeshed" means?feifei,i checked up my dictionary and couldnt find it too.but im quite sure this word exists,i saw it before,either on my sat list or time magazine.
feel that im a little bit too obssessive with blue nowadays.talked to mum for 10 plus mins.(:
sigh,it's monday tomorrow.you know i seriously think i should be more intimidating and bellicose cos i feel that students are getting more and more insolent.but i really wanna go against traditions and implement my way of interaction with students leh.sigh.
drained,tired,exhausted,annihilated,i need to be revitalised.

stressed out.

2005-01-28T17:43:00.000-08:00

internet connection cropped up last night.anyway,nothing much happened yesterday.felt that i was a little too mean to kang fu and perhaps 1/2.half of 2/6 didnt hand in their compos.gave them a really easy title,a title which you can never write out of point.but you know what?!hengjie actually wrote out of point.i can worship him man.oh,and told 2/6 one "gan ren" story.haha,they are so slow man!i bet half the class didnt get the joke.bleah.
stayed back to watch lunchtime concert.have to admit military band's really not bad,just that the colour guards were still a little bit messy.im certain things will get better man!but the indoof gym got kinda draggy and you could observe half the audience went off.after that walked to the mrt station with xiaohei and xiaobai.haha.realised only xiaobai could conquer xiaohei.
im having sleeping disorder syndrome.for the last two days i couldnt wake up thinking it's weekend.for today,i woke up at 5 thinking i've to go to school.argh.think im too stressed out.cos next week's really a test for me.4 classes having tests.if they dont well,that means im a failure. im really drained,think i'll take a leave on one of the days next week.
got my account book and atm card settled.i wanna buy 1/2 a curtain lor!they're too broke to buy one.it really hurts me to see them under the sun.shall find one day.next week's so busy,how man.argh.
sigh,please dont raise my hopes too high up and end up disappointing me.i've had enough of these.whatever,i should live what i preach.(:
packed weekend,hope everyone enjoys,take care.-hugs-
“感情就象候车月台，有人走，有人来。我的心是一个站牌，写着等待。”

27/01/05

2005-01-27T18:29:00.000-08:00

hectic day today.something happened in 3/9 today.tess plus yansong vs qianyi.they were violently arguing about disrespect.they got worse when i tried to interfere nicely till i couldnt tolerate anymore.like look who's talking about disrespect here?the story goes on.tess went out,yansong ignored me but qianyi actually apologised to me.i was like "wau".and so the lesson went on lor,without yansong and tess participating.first time since school reopened i actually smiled in 3/9.realised wanda's attitude towards me is getting better.love does help isnt it?
after 3/9 was 2/6.utterly disappointed.it was a simple ting xie and it took so much effort with people trying to copy and talking and dont know what shit.the whole class was near chaotic.2/2 was as normal.sigh.think now i can only control my sec 1s and teach properly.somehow,i dont feel as if im teaching in 2/2,2/6 and 3/9.it's my prob,think im too soft hearted.i just cant bear to send students down for detention.fengji didnt come after all.i shouldnt have expected so much.
was having a chat with peng lao shi.the syllabus changed again.seriously,there's no point studying chi now cos of politics.with leaders who cant speak proper mandarin,what hope does chinese have in spore?disheartened in a sense.dont they feel it's a great disgrace to not know one's mother tongue?maybe i should just heed ms sam's advice and go into SPE or just continue pursuing my dreams.
only one thing that seems nice today.leonard actually commented about rebecca's attitude.thanks leonard.i'm touched and really appreciated that.(:
why do i seem to lose the motivation i had last week suddenly?should i hang on?show me the meaning of carrying on man.as i'd forgotten that it's a realistic world since holidays,reding blogs reminded me again.this is a realistic world,everyone's superficial,everyone has their darkest secrets.it's so sad that everyone's lonely even though they may have thousands of friends surrounding them.pathetic world isnt it?ignorance is bliss,trust me.i really wish i hadn't realise the darkness of life.
"you'll never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.you'll never live if you're looking for the meaning of life".ignorance is bliss.

26/01/05

2005-01-26T20:21:00.000-08:00

Tiring day.couldnt wake up,thinking it is sat.was still as stoned when I was in the train.i was sitting right beside the door and to think I could still miss the stop “ang mo kio” when my eyes were wide opened.guess I was stoning.was already half dead when I came out of 2/6.really felt like sleeping when I was teaching syllabus B.-shakes head-
Despite my fatigue,still had to relief 4/4 and 4/9.4/9’s classroom is superb!they painted their classroom black!actually I’d heard about it earlier on and I’d thought it’s astonishing in a negative way till I stepped into their class today and wau,it’s impressive.they have this large,colourful timetable at the back of their class and their black walls were filled with horoscope signs.they were so flattered when I asked “are those horoscope signs?” cos apparently every other teacher thought they were chemical molecules.hehe.4/4 was all right just that I really pity the girls,like only 3 pathetic girls in a class!
Planned to leave for home at 2 when some teacher called out “lin lao shi”.just as I was walking with a puzzled face to the door,ms yau coincidentally came in and asked me not to wonder anymore cos it’s jasmine ang who’s looking for me.obviously she recovered from her pms.haha.then SOMEHOW got dragged to ang mo kio central,buying curtains.throughout the entire journey,jasmine ang kept begging me to interrupt band practice,like wth.haha.anyway,tomorrow’s reserved for fengji.he actually approached me today regarding zuo wen.you wont know how happy I am.just hope he doesnt give empty promises,I took his word for it.
Wonder how b div netballers fare.hope everything goes well!cheers!:)
“我愿变成童话里你爱的那个天使，张开双手变成翅膀守护你。你要相信，相信我们会像童话故事里，幸福和快乐是结局。”

25/01/05

2005-01-25T03:29:00.000-08:00

hmm,most prominent thing that happened today.dont know if it's ke ming or jia wei gave me $20 worth of coins.bleah,and i had to go exchange it with the canteen aunty.funny lah,i didnt think of doing that to my teachers last time.
i think i heard hwee en calling me "si niao" to me.haha,sounds familiar,think feifei always calls me that.met ms tan on my way home and she told me she still has my cert.like haha,how long ago man,she can keep it if she likes.haiyoh,this blog is like becoming my personal blog cos stupid diaryland ate up my blog!!!3 years worth of entries and numerous essay drafts can!-heart ache-
jasmine ang abit pms today (dont know if it's pre,post or proceeding though,-wink-).so confined to herself.frankly speaking,im not used to that.haha,hope she's all right.jinrong's quieten down too.
my comp is permanently stagnant on enxie's blog.tong hua's super nice.enxie sang the first part of the song for me today.i was reading the lyrics in the staff room,and it's ssoooo sad.cant wait to see the mtv but i'll definitely cry.im quite sentimental.
one sad thing that happened:netballers lost,8-9.girls,dont be disheartened k,you've played your best,just treat it as a lesson learnt,cheers!:)
after netball,went home with enxie and rachel.i bet rachel's mum wont believe im her chi teacher!haha,and rachel,stop being so picky k.please board whatever bus that comes first.
borrowed comics from huimin,shall take a break today,so many books to mark tomorrow.
god bless,cheer up angeline,xiao hei and xiao bai,and the rest of the netballers!love you guys always.(:

24/01/05

2005-01-24T19:23:00.000-08:00

first day of third week.nothing much today leh,still trying to get used life in school without peirong.tried talking out with 2/2 today but to no avail.seriously,i really love everyone lor.shouted alot,kinda tired.
assembly tomorrow!i dont feel like going leh,can i pon?i hate assemblies back in school too.anyway,i literally slept for the first assembly,the one about the 4Ds.it's about recycling tomorrow i heard.i WILL sleep lor.bleah.
still debating within myself if i should go watch netball.a part of me wanna go cos it really brought back alot of memories.those national times when we poned class together to sleep behind the hall.climbed gate to have extra training.poned school just to rest at home.leave early for classes etc.also,i wanna see them win!but another part of me...is thinking i've tonnes of work to do!
such a sian day.
"to love is living loved".

oh no!

2005-01-22T19:39:00.000-08:00

i was bathing just now and suddenly remembered i forgot to distribute 1/2's workbooks to them!planned to let them do during the long weekends!oh no!and their test is supposedly next week.-shakes head-
oh yeah,and i'd decided to take back my words regarding giving up hopes.i WON'T give up.
当我和世界不一样那就让我不一样
坚持对我来说就是以刚克刚
我如果对自己妥协如果对自己说谎
即使别人原谅我也不能原谅
最美的愿望一定最疯狂
我就是我自己的神在我活的地方
我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂
就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强我在风中大声地唱
这一次为自己疯狂就这一次
我和我的倔强
对爱我的人别紧张我的固执很善良
我的手越肮脏眼神越是发光
你不在乎我的过往看到了我的翅膀
你说被火烧过才能出现凤凰
逆风的方向更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡只怕自己投降

20/01/05

2005-01-20T03:41:00.000-08:00

busy day today.wasnt in the staff room for the entire day and when i finally returned to the staff room,got the news that it's peirong last day today.that means my last day's coming soon too.haha,whoever takes over me will have a hard time man.so many unmarked books.anyway,im convinced that my dad's hearing impaired.he heard "st teresa convent" as "lower delta pri".bleah.
2/2 was surprisingly cooperative today.or rather im immuned to it.3/9.sigh.i give up hope.now pinning all my hopes on 1/5 and 2/6.but 2/6 getting nosier each day leh.getting harder and harder to control.i dont wanna shout at them lor.made 1/2 stand today.like asked them to do their ying yong wen they kept talking.refused to listen when i was explaining and ended up asking the same questions and i had to repeat numerous times.1/5 made so much noise too.so i took a chair,slammed it down,sat down and watched them talk.haiyah,dont know why am i so attitude recently.feel so bad,im so mean man.
went for netball.i admit riverside is indeed strong,their GS(the one who doesnt wear specs) NEVER missed a single shot but i think our girls didnt show strong fighting spirit.only sensed erica and that 2/8 girl fighting strongly.then so many of them went home with injuries.not sure if their opponents were playing dirty tricks.then one girl cried cos somebody pushed her i think.hush girl.i'm quite glad my sport's tabletennis.cos im quite sure if anyone pushes me or something,with my impulsive character,i'll make sure that person goes home bleeding twice as much as me.yeah,im a person who practises reciprocracy.if you're nice,i will be ten times nicer than you.however,if you're mean,you'll definitely get it from me.
anyway,back to riverside.that GS's really good,like calm,steady,confident.you name it she has it.and their centre is so positively domineering and organised.thier passings were swift and accurate too.but then i think they are one team that wont enjoy playing the game,with that coach around.all they care's winning.please,for goodness' sake,sometimes there's more than winning in a game.it's the bonding,the fun and the experience!wonder how the girls stand them.i hate coaches shouting at me lor.remembered once i just threw basket of ping pong balls on the floor and left the training hall.please,im a human being so can you please dont treat me as if im your dog?
one more thing,dont ever say "one goal doesnt matter since the scores are already so distant" cos as a sportsperson,every goal/point counts.every minute counts too.dont ever give up before time's up for you'll be losing to yourselves and not your opponents.lastly,losing is all right cos it's through losing that you learn to win!it's then you'll enjoy the joy of winning!win with passion and not mechanics!all the best for next week's matches!take care of yourselves though injuries,be it internal or external,are inevitable.be strong in the mind and you can make it far!(:
long weekend,enjoy!
"the only things that life denies you are the things that you're willing to let pass by.fight for the things you love and love the things that are worth fighting for."

muahahahahaa!

2005-01-19T02:34:00.000-08:00

forgot to add on!the pimple on hwee en's forehead is getting bigger!going to reach her target of being er lang shen!
jasmine ang's chao cute.told her i was going home and she said she wanted to give me a lift.like hello,she stays at SENGKANG!
no class with sec 1s today.sian.xianhao's sooo cute too!all right,im a paedophile.
"Success in life comes not from holding a good hand,but in playing a poor hand well."

19/01/05

2005-01-19T02:14:00.000-08:00

ma ka shun finally handed over his compo.actually his language is not that bad.i realised people who hand in work late are not that bad,they're just perhaps lazy?like leonard,i marked his compo,it's perfectly fine you know.
abit harsh to 2/2 again.not abit,think i was too much,certain words are too hurting.relationship spoilt i guess.they hate me though i dont really hate them.im just worried.i wonder why am i panicking when they cant be bothered at all?3/9 too.dekai was just disrespectful.all right,i know im not exactly respectable,but can you at least respect yourself.what does it reflect about your own personality when you dont respect yourself?it was a big irony when shangyu and gang walked up to me with a seaweed,attempting to cheer me up.thanks anyway!(: whatever lah,if you dont care,i dont care too.shall get back to my aquarius' attitude.afterall,God only helps those who helps themselves isnt it?
luckily 2/6 was quite cooperative today.i was already half dead then.kept tearing cos my nose itched like hell,and mucus keeps stucking my nose up.yesterday was still not as severe.i still cant take mc,cos of deying and meiyi!you see,if both of them had handed in their compos yesterday,i could have gone through their compos with them today,and i can just let them do their workbooks tomorrow!what to do,i was once a student.you know,as long as you hand in something,no matter how late,i'll just close one eye.but wtf,just hand in something will you?!is that an absurd request?!
ok,calm down bird.talk about happy things.hwee en shows a great resemblance of me when i was in sec sch.the loudness,the hyperactiveness,the walking up and down of corridors,viewing people,"communicating" with teachers etc.remembered when i was reliefing 2/8,the trombone sectional leader told me she's the uniform in charge.first thing that flashed cross my mind was that "huh?washing powder?" cos uic mah.ok...-_- ohh,gossiped alot in staff room today.then realised i've alot of common points with ahem.corny lah.talked about the motorcycle jokes blah blah before i got targetted by art club peepz.
anyway,netball lost yesterday.hope they'll win tomorrow man!not as if you guys will see this,but good luck netballers!speaking of netballers,erica's cousin's jasmine koh!what a coincidence.haha.-grin-
shall sleep now.-sneezes-
"every smile has a hidden sorrow."

18/01/05

2005-01-18T05:07:00.000-08:00

utterly disappointed.
ma ka shun's getting on my nerves.asked him to come look for me after school,he boldly didnt appear.whatever.shant talk about depressing stuff.
so much about teasing me.hwee en got a GIGANTIC pimple between her eyes today!exactly like those e mei pai disciples in yi tian tu long ji.had a great time suaning her.alot of things happened today,but my nose just itches alot that i dont feel like typing.talked alot to rachel.
anyway,mr ong was telling peirong and i two new teachers are coming so i guess im leaving soon.so abit busy these few days,like trying to get all my stuff done so that im ready for hand over anytime.actually promised erica and peishan to go support them yeah...thurs not sure if i can go too.argh.
now cracking my head hard to think of getting jobs.shouldn't have rejected fairfield pri yesterday.me and my responsiblities.whatever.was glad i stopped coaching ny so that i can spend full attention on sutdents yet now.wtf.real pissed recently.so much about the shifting down of timetable.ended up not having lessons with 3/9 and 1/2.
my nose's itching like nobody's business.wtf.haiyah,type some other day,incoherent stuff.
"no one plans to fail but very often people fail to plan."

17/01/05

2005-01-17T04:24:00.000-08:00

wasnt a good start for third week.started off the day by forgetting to bring my timetable.got so anxious that i was walking all around staff room.messaged rebecca what time her class having chi lesson just to check out what time am i supposed to go in.ended up there's a big timetable for every level and every teacher on the staff room's noticeboard.im blur.
sigh,blew my top at 2/2 today.wasnt on purpose.i think i was being anamalous.indelicate too,how can i lose my perfect image man.sigh.i was god damn pissed lah.already having a flu plus sore throat yet refused to take mc just cos im bothered enough for them.i dont want them to lag behind lah.and i hope they'll have more time for revision when exams come.
you know i always refrain from shouting and i surely believe in having friendly relationship with students.i mean,i was once a student,i detest screaming teachers too k.i remember there was once when ms yeo ordered me around,i just stared at her and walked off lah.that's why i hope to be relent in teaching my own students too.sigh,why cant they just understand?if i scream at them,they'll say i "kao bei kao bu",but dont they realise im just reciprocating?all rite,im being too sentimental here.pissed off lah,walked past 2/6 and they could sense it.which is really bad.i should be impartial know.
anyway,it's really a culture shock lah.maybe not that bad for me,but it's really one tremendous shock for peirong.4/1 actually played a trick on her with cockroach.heard it was chaotic.if it happens on me,i wont feel so astonishing lah,cos i wasnt a really good student either.i mean,my class played a really mean trick on ms chau on april's fool day too.it's just too much for peirong i guess.if it happens on me,i'll just think it's retribution.haha.
this leads to a final conclusion or rather a reflection for me:are relief teachers meant to be bullied?
anyway,i just need to let out.no one's at home.mum called and we barely talked.6 mins 41s and she had to hang up.dad isnt home.housework waiting to be done yet im just a hopeless procrastinator.
god bless.

Introduction

2005-01-14T18:13:00.000-08:00

Yoz!specially got this blog,just to take down some memories i had/will be having in deyi sec.i think it will definitely be a pleasure to read this blog after i leave deyi.was hunting for nice blogskins but there's something wrong with the connection so i cant get any nice ones.this one is the original one which i felt is not bad and it's blue!the deyians' colour!and i like blueeee!yeap,so this shall be it.wait till im in the mood to change a blogskin.i take forever to choose anyway,extremely indecisive.that's me.
yeap,actually 2nd week has ended but i shall recall some of the more distinct happenings in week 1! (:

week 2

2005-01-14T02:36:00.000-08:00

woah!week 2 breezed past!think i've gotten used to most things eg. waking up early.first week i was like slept through my journey and stoned most of the time in the staff room.but this week i could stay awake on the train.it's quite fun to be on the train in the morning.nice experience watching people.shall write an essay on that someday.writing essays' the best way to earn money,especially when it get published on zaobao.haha,friday weekly doesnt pay as much.-evil grin-
my sec 1s are still obedient.sec 3s getting worse.one fine day dekai was a little bit disturbing so i chased him out of the class in a nice way.and ended up some people left with him,leaving monica and wenhao behind.i was actually quite pissed off,if i wasnt a teacher then,i'd have swore.haiyah,childish me actually ignored them for that lesson.afterall they're just kids right,i should take things easy.(:
sec 2s getting more figetive too.ohh...i realised 2/2 has this reclusive girl.yeap,she's a little bit inconfident with herself.ohhh!2/6 has one too!hope i can help a little.cos they're good students,all they need is just one push and some confidence.
haha,source of entertainment came the most from 2/6.the girls ah..and jinrong.-bleah- jasmine is distinctively loud and i'd altered rachael's name to "xuan mei de".they actually greeted me "e mei pai zhang men ren" one day.they dont seem to be convinced that "e mei" actually means beautiful and intelligent lady.should watch yi tian tu long ji,zhou zhi ruo.ohh,jinrong had this great passion for chi man!which is rare.hope i can help him with this little time i've to.he's a nice boy,always so passionate and helpful,not to forget jonathan.(:
2/2 gave me a little problem this week.first was rebecca's group.although they insisted that they've told me everything,for goodness' sake,i'm matured enough to sense that something's wrong and they're definitely hiding some details.however,i did not reveal anything lah.afterall,they have the right to decide what they wanna tell me.follow by,the boys got abit rebellious this week.i had no choice but to resort to certain managing methods which are against my wish and personality.hope they understand man.BIG headache collecting workbooks.surprisingly,it was the girls,yeap rebecca's clique.still dare to run away from me.the guys,though their books were mostly incomplete,at least they handed in.im contented.
oh!!!!i had a painful time marking 1/2's essays.their title was "shang zhong xue de di yi tian" and brendan wrote he was quite sad cos he cant be with his gf anymore and blah blah blah.i burst out laughing lor!i cant mark him wrong.in fact,i gave him quite a decent score cos his sentences were all right and his content was there.then alan and yong chuan ah..both wrote "lim bei" on their essays.can puke blood.will be marking 2/6's and 1/5's essays this week...
that's all man,looking forward to next week.quite worried.im behind schedule for all classes except 1/5 and 3/9.then there's hari raya holiday which means i'm going to lose two precious periods with 2/6.i wonder how am i going to catch up.stresssssssssss.it's not that i wanna stress the students up,but haiyoh...-shrug-
happy weekend!(:

week 1

2005-01-14T02:18:00.000-08:00

i vaguely remember first day was hell to me cos i was so not used to waking up early.in addition,i had to wake up one hour earlier.why?cos i stay sooo far away.haha,it's a miracle why i accepted this job in the first place.but,i'd never regretted this choice of mine.nah,i shall say i regretted initially but after one week,i could proudly say i have no regrets.
first week was a tiring one.not used to everything,and was so shy.you know i'd always have this problem of talking in front of a class.since pri school,the moment i stand in front of the class,trying to present something,even though i havent said a single thing,the entire class would burst out laughing.and now,i have to face a class again.only met 3/9 and 2/2 on the first day cos sec 1s were having their orientation and i've no lesson with 2/6.i was so blur k.i forgot im only supposed to take 7 students (chi B) for 3/9 and i took the entire class,still asked them to self intro.so embarrassing.2/2 was a huge class!!!alot of interesting people.one that left the deepest impression on me is fengji.-grin- first day i was really lenient,like just chatted and stuff.oh...im not a stern teacher to begin with.cos i believe in building friendly relationships with students.treating them as adults.they are sec sch students already k!how do you expect me to order them around like pri sch kids?yeap,i wanna to be their friend more than i wanna be their teacher.
second day was the first day i met 2/6.blur me did something shameful again.went into 2/8 and chen lao shi came in and said im supposed to teach 2/6.i already self introed to 2/8 k!malu.oh,stepped into 2/6 and lee lao shi came in and said 2/6's her class!ended up she made a mistake.-phew- yeap,so finally im in 2/6.deepest impression was the girls on the left,super talkative!!!
only met my sec 1s on the last two days of week 1.1/2's not bad,brendan's super cute can.first look at him,i was thinking this boy's gonna grow up to be a shuai ge.but the moment he opens his mouth...-shakes head- his voice's still so kiddy!but he's cute lah,and respectful.1/5's a super obedient class.also cant remember what i did with them.
ohh!then dont know which fine day,mei siong came in!she's soooo corny lah.cos she only teaches pe and comp application which is sooo slack that we have alot of time to talk to each other.she's very humourous lor.although there's a age gap we can still communicate well and talked about lots of things.she always has alot to say and comment,my biggest entertainer in the staff room!her bro plays tabletennis too!!!haha.
yeap,that's about it i guess...(: